Idle Chit Chat

Let’s talk about love, shall we?!

No, wait, I think there was a tag fest couple of weeks ago which I didn’t get around to doing because I could never define love. If you have experienced it, it’ll always be unique to you and only you, so no matter how many words, phrases, paragraphs or even pages you use to put across that feeling, you’ll do a half-ass job.

Instead, let’s talk about relationships and dating!

Now, I have been told I have a very … different …. perspective on the whole dating deal. The difference being that I always thought ‘dating’ and a ‘relationship’ were two different things. Some say that you need to date someone, that is, go on several dates, before it becomes a little bit more serious and it would turn into a relationship, that is, you turn into boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s all very westernized and in a society where its customary to start off the courtship dance with ‘I love you’ or ‘I wanna make friendship with you’, it’s a concept that’s a little difficult to wrap your conditioned brains around.

There are others who, instead of dating the person they are interested in from the getgo, turn into their friend and then when they get to know each other (and when it’s safe to assume that shoes won’t be hurled and the word ‘no’ won’t be heard) and feelings are allowed to form, they jump into a relationship. Each to their own, I guess.

But I always thought that there were some guys who you dated and it would be just that. There might be a million and one reasons why they wouldn’t cross that ‘date’ line but it doesn’t happen. Then why go on dates with them? Because you might enjoy their company, you might want to test out the deceiving sparks that usually just dwindle away as the night goes on or they might be just a little bit more than a friend so you can’t really call it ‘hanging out’. Either way, these are the guys you usually don’t picture (excuse the cliche) white picket fence houses and station wagons with, even if a second or third date were to happen.

Guys you want to have relationships with however are the ones you actually see your future self with, it’s like their eyes are the headlights of the light at the end of the tunnel *chuckle* *refuses to see how lame that was*. There’s just something there that makes you come back to them, want to be with them and you know that you will eventually fall head over heels, Ineverwannaletgoofhisshirtsleeve kinda in love with them.

When I was younger, spending time with the ‘date’ guys was usual enough. It was all very innocent and you basically end up having a good time and they end up being friends. But now that I am in my twenties, the whole idea of dating is a bit pointless. The thought of putting in the effort for a single day of fun with a guy you probably won’t ever want to have a relationship with is a bit tiring. I guess I have realized that chemistry needs to be a bit more substantial.

So why bother? Why not hang around, no matter how long, for the white picket fence dude?
What do you have to lose? Everyone is in search of love. Everyone is in search of this ‘perfect’ person, the one who’d come around in the fabled white horse to battle away your demons and loneliness. If he’s going to do all that, he won’t come around that easy.

I don’t believe in soul mates but I think each of us will meet someone who’ll be a custom variant of Lloyd Dobler ( Young John Cusack…*drool*) who’d stand outside our window holding up a boom box.

You just haven’t met them yet *ignores shameless plagiarism of Buble lyrics*

Edit: So Dili brought this to my attention and it’s as corny as corny could possibly get and and unrealistic and “menlikethatdon’texist” and “chickflicksbuildupfarfetchedexpectations” and stupid and and and…a lot of things I shouldn’t find cute but it is! From the movie 100 Girls:

“Without you, I’m as lonely as an abandoned dog on the side of a highway. I have gift anxiety, even through I don’t know when your birthday is. We can spend perfect days shopping and cooking together. I swear, I’ll never make wisecracks when you scrape your tires against the curb while parallel parking. If you consent to live with me, I’ll clean the toilet every week. I’ll do it with my tongue if you ask. I will strike the words “hooters” and “love rockets” from my vocabulary. I’ll love you. Even if your name is Mimi and you want me to pronounce it “May May”. I will only pass gas underneath the covers and only under the direst of circumstances. Hell, I’ll go on a low cholesterol diet. And I won’t buy one of those red sports cars when I hit my mid-life crisis. Your parents can come visit us every week, even if your mom is a big witch with a capital B. And your folks don’t have to go to a retirement home because they can come live with us. I declare, I’ll separate the whites from the colors, I’ll learn the mysteries of hot and cold water washes. I’ll never huff and puff while waiting for you to put on your makeup. If you’re a cat person, I’ll never point out the fact that a dog can save your life from drowning, but a cat can’t. I will happily go see chick flicks with you, like “Pride and Prejudice”. I’ll make a point to trying new food like okra gumbo. I won’t curl my nose at vegetables whose awful taste is disguised by having cheese on it. I pledge to always say “yes” when you ask, “Is my hair looking okay tonight?” I’m gonna bring a whole new meaning to the word “cuddle”. I’ll be thoughtful enough to read your horoscope every day. I’m gonna save every birthday card you send me! And I’ll actually write you real letters when we’re apart. I’m never gonna expect you to know where I left my car keys, and I’ll never leave my socks on the floor. With me, you’ll find the cap is always on the toothpaste. I’ll start wearing those male bikini style underwear if you like. My belly button will always be lint free. I want to full-on kiss your clitoris. It will be the most passionate, intimate experience you’ve ever had. I declare now, I will give my life for you. And if you fail to come to me, I know some part of me will surely die.”