Hey you!
Now now, don’t start hyperventilating. You should work on that, by the way. Stop stressing out so much. Stop all this hands-shaking, tears-welling up and lack of breath business. Okay so I know you can’t stop it but try controlling it. It’ll get you through some really tough times later on.
Alright, now concentrate on what I am going to say for a few minutes. Put that thick book of poems down; there’s no need to copy poems from random sources and writing them down for future reference. You are never going to refer to them. Instead, why don’t you start writing some of your own stuff? Work on your creativity a little bit. It’ll get you through your English Literature paper during your A-Levels. Yes, you are going to take Lit (and you are gonna pass too) and no, you will never know why.
You have got to cut the angsty-teen crap with the parents. It’s not going to work, you are not going to get what you want. Soon, you will have a big fight with your Mom and you won’t talk to her for three months. Stop hoping that she will talk to you, it’s not going to happen. What IS going to happen is that you will end up hurting your parents. That’s not worth it. Try to prevent this fight from happening, respect their decisions and maybe understand them…okay that’s stretching it for now. Just try to respect their decisions and keep all your tantrums to yourself. Try to make that a habit because in the next couple of years, you are going to throw a lot of them which will push a lot of people away. So yeah, try to control the tantrums k?!
Your ‘Sweet Sixteen’ isn’t going to be that great. Couple of years down the line, you won’t even remember what you did on your birthday so stop driving everyone crazy with your birthday plans (pentagram shaped cakes and pitch black party themes included) (And honestly, the Wiccan phase?! Not cool. WHAT were you thinking?!). They are all going to fall through. But it’s okay. You will soon realize that birthday’s are overrated anyway.
You are going to meet a boy in about a year’s time. He’s going to change everything in your little world. Please appreciate him a little more. Don’t give up just because it’s long distance. Think of everything he has done for you and stop being a selfish bitch (Yes, work on that as well because people are going to start calling you out on that soon enough). Work on your patience and stop giving up on people. Wait. It’ll be unrealistic of me to say that even if you are all that, things will work out with him in the long run because it won’t…but make it last for as long as you can because trust me, he’ll be the one you loved the best.
You are going to fall for your best friend much later. He won’t change your world much but he will, sure as hell, change you. Resist it. Don’t let him bring out the worst in you. You are a very very difficult person. Again, be patient. Wait. And read this (and read it again if you don’t understand): He loves you a hell of a lot. Give him some credit.
Many many years later, you are going to fall again and you are going to fall hard. It’s going to be nothing like before and it will take you out of your element. You will crumble, over and over BUT you will get out knowing that you could love another that much and it’s going to make you feel better about yourself. So it’s okay, fall and fall hard mostly because there’s no way you can prevent it from happening, anyway.
(Don’t ever lose faith in love, regardless of what happens with the boys in your life. There will be instances where you seriously consider swinging the other way but don’t…men, the right ones, are worth it)
Also, wait. It’s going to be very difficult to do so in about six years but wait. It’ll be worth it.
Let go of all your anger towards your brother. Yes, you wanted to be an only child but he happened and it’s been years. He’s going to be your pillar of support soon so trust me, start to be there for him now. Be his friend and love him like you should have from day one.
Something that you will never be able to forget is going to happen next year. You are going to heal and it’s going to get sorted but please tell your parents about it. They will understand and they won’t blame you. Also, forget what happened so long ago. Don’t be angry, you can’t do anything about it. One day, you will be able to tell someone. I know you think you’ll take it to your grave but please don’t because you need to talk about it.
I know you tried some booze this year and I know you hated it. You have also tried smoking and I know you hated that as well. Please, just continue hating them. It’ll save you some trouble later.
Change your email address. As soon as possible. Please try to atleast see that ‘sparkle_eyes86’ is not cool.
Learn to love yourself. You are going to cut that horse tail that passes off as hair in about three years. Don’t start crying, it’s going to look okay. About the boobs and the bum; the boobs are gonna fill out but the bum’s going to remain a disappointment. Sorry. BUT you will feel beautiful one day, regardless of what people say. Don’t hate yourself for being tall, one day you will love being tall! I would know, I am there already. STOP being so timid. Listen to your mother, you will get nowhere being timid. Speak up, stop blushing when the teacher asks you a question in class and for God’s sake, stop being so damned shy!
One last thing, go out a bit more. Stop hiding under your shell, stop being so reserved because you think people think you are a recluse. It’s a vicious cycle. Get out of it soon or you will have hell to pay when you go to College. You will also miss out on getting to know a lot of awesome people. Don’t let that happen. Please, just put those books down, take your earphones out and spend time with your friends. You will regret missing out.
Will love you soon,
Me
P.S: Stop writing so much. You will run out of time during your Economics AND Business A – Level papers because of it.
P.P.S: Don’t get the eyebrow piercing. Atleast don’t get it from the place you plan on getting it from.
P.P.P.S: Your van will come to a stop during the trials. MAKE IT WORK SOMEHOW because it’s going to be a bitch to get your license six years later.
Thanks, GutterFlower and PseudoRandom for the tag. This was fun to write! 😀
I am gonna cheat a bit and tag four people: Cadence, Chaarmax, RealSkullZero and Jinx. (Edit: And Mo Mo! You know I love you 🙂 )
New Decade, Old Me 